This maybe a pointless rant post...
Recently, I started to develop fears against the labour process. Baby is now 30 weeks old and it is only 6-10 weeks away from welcoming him to the world. However, as closer to date, I realized that it won't be too far from the pain which many women failed to find the perfect word to describe it. Agonizing is just underestimation of the pain, they claimed.
1 month ago, my elder sister gave birth to my healthy nephew, Lincoln. We often share information during our pregnancy as we only differ by 3 months away. I deliberately asked her how the experience was, and how painful the process was. She told me: 1000 x our menstrual cramps. I was not too encouraged with that. When I had my menstrual cramps, I literally curled myself in the bed and swearing while panting. So, if that is magnified by 1000 as she described, I may lost my mind.
My hubby just texted me few mins ago to share about water birth and asked me why we were not offered this option in TMC. I told him right away, I can't go pure au naturale for this birth. I don't think I have the courage. I will absolutely opt for epidural to minimize the pain.
I have frequent nightmares about giving birth. I'm not sure if it's normal, but it is not pleasant. Last night, I dreamt that my gynae telling me to c-sect my baby out because it's already more than 30 weeks..duh!
I tried yoga, reading books, talking to my mom, getting some wise words from hubby, but none is helpful. One of my friend told me to just don't think about it cos the baby is already there and no turn back this time. I guess she is right, but.....
6 weeks away ....wish me a smooth delivery, people
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